My Failed Attempt At Death
When I was fourteen, I tried to kill myself. I had been going through so much and I felt I could take no more. I tried taking a handful of sleeping pills first and when I thought that wasn’t enough I tried to cut open my wrist. My mother, who we didn’t know at the time was suffering from bipolar, didn’t seem to notice me or care anymore since her father had died. It was a battle every day to go to school where I had no friends, only bullies who humiliated me and tortured me for fun. I had been sexually abused by my step father and my step brother, and I felt ruined and broken in so many ways that I never believed anyone would ever want me. My real father I hadn’t seen in ten years was no where to be found.
I felt lost, alone, fat, ugly, useless, you name it. So I decided to end it.
I passed out and woke the next morning needing stitches and covered in my own dried blood.
I believed I survived for a reason. It was hard but I made my life better. I went to school and started fighting back using my knowledge against those who tried to cross me. I found my biological father and he is still my best friend to this day. My mother who has attempted to kill herself on a few occasions went through therapy where I would drag her every week so she could get help.
My life is so much different now and I’m happy.
I changed my life and my thinking.
This scar will always remind me how far I’ve come.
Thank-you life, you really kicked me in the ass and saved me
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